IS THIS FOR REAL
me: *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* cannot believe this asshole didnt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable
in their defense, nobody at fox news can count higher than 100.
Pros of wearing all black: looks so badass
Cons: everyone knows I had powdered donuts
When you’re sightreading a piece and suddenly it gets 10x harder
Full body condom: When you wanna get nasty but you don’t know where they’ve been.
I… Um… OK…
Gotta stay strapped at all times